Cat Translations

Meow… (Longer meows, almost sad, repeated): Are you asleep? Are you? How about now? Are you ever going to wake up enough to pet me?

Meow! (Sharp, disappointed meow): I am SO disappointed in you, lying in your bed like a slug!

Meoooooow (Operatic): This is the sooooong of my mousie! I have brought this mousie to you! I have hunted it all over the Savannah [the hallway] to bring it to you, at great personal cost! In my mouth, I have carried this mousie to yoooooou! Now will you awake?!?

Mew? (Quiet meow, very sad): I guess you’re dead. That’s the only explanation for why you won’t wake up enough to pet me. I am going away sad.

Meow…(Loud, whiny. Sitting by bed): Oh, you’re sitting up in bed? That’s too much awake. How am I supposed to get comfortable enough to be petted?

Me-ow (Exasperated): Great. Now you’re petting me with your filthy  human hands. I am going to have to bathe for hours.

Mrr? (Short trill, rising at end): Are we playing? Are you going to make the toy live?

Mrr. (Short noise, full of disappointment): Oh, you just toss the toy. And it just sits there, not moving. Great disappointment.

Me-ow! (short, repeated meows): Hello, other kitty! I love you with all my heart and my furry soul! Do you want to sniff noses and bathe each other’s faces and cuddle in a big kitty pile?

{Other cat– (Hiss! Growl!): You should die painfully and now!}

Mew? (Sweet noise): Okay, maybe later! Love you!

Mew! (Short, decisive): This is most definitely MY chair. I don’t know why you think it’s yours. I will defend it until you are dead by my sharp and pointy teeth.

Meeeeeeow (Long, drawn out, whiny): Share your food! I know that’s something I like!

MeOW (Bitter): I am going to starve because you selfishly won’t share your cheese. Starve!

MeOW? (High-pitched, back leg stretched out): Why aren’t you petting me? Now, now, pet me!

Brr (short trill, irritated): Enough with the petting. I am SO done.

Me-ow! (short, repeated meows): Oh, look, the other kitty! We are SUCH great friends and I am SO happy to see you again! How about we chase each other around the house?

{Other cat– (Hiss! Growl!): Die! So much! I LOATHE you!}

Mew? (Sweet noise): Okay, maybe later! Love you, too!

Meoooooow (Operatic): This is the sooooong of my mousie! I have brought this mousie from the place that it was to the place that I shall sleeeeeep! In my mouth, I carry this mousie!

Meeeoooow? (Sad): Where ARE you? Why have you ABANDONED me? It is DARK and LONELY where I am! Where ARE you? I am AFRAID!

Mewow! (Excited): THERE you are! In bed! At night! That is VERY weird. I was abandoned and neglected and I didn’t know where you were!

(All day, every day)




Review: The Secret History of Wonder Woman

The Secret History of Wonder Woman by Jill Lapore is fascinating. I’d known about the…ah…emphasis on bondage in the stories written by Charles Moulton (pen name of William Moulton Marston). I knew that Marston had invented a lie detector. But there are heaps of information that was in this book that I didn’t know.

For instance, Marston was involved with Margret Sanger’s niece, Olive Byrne when he was married to his wife, Elizabeth Holloway. It was a polyamorous relationship before those were called that! Both women were involved in the creation of Wonder Woman, with Olive adding the most, while also caring for all of the children (two by Holloway, two by Olive).

Additionally, how much of the suffragette movement ended up in the comics–even before Marston was involved with Sanger’s niece, he was in favor of equal rights for women. Because it was such an influence, Lapore spends a great deal of time on Sanger and the movement–I became very upset during this part, not just because of the things that the suffragettes endured, but at the idiotic arguments against equal rights for woman.

There’s also the delicious irony of just how much lying and hucksterism the inventor of a lie detector was involved with. It certainly raised my eyebrows. It’s not so much that the family lied about their true makeup (something that was vital at the time!), but practically everything else.

The best part of the book, however, is Lapore’s obvious thoroughness and gorgeous research. I can’t imagine how many hours went into this book. And I’m picky about research and sources. Another wonderful feature are the illustrations and pictures. Each time that Lapore gives an example from Wonder Woman, the panel follows. There are tons of pictures. Also included are political cartoons, the famous cover of Ms magazine with Wonder Woman running for president and really interesting other items (like a still from a film that Marston wrote). There’s an especially interesting afterword, written after the original book was published.

Even if you’re not a fan of Wonder Woman (and how can you not be? 🙂 ), this book is terrific. It’s a fascinating look at an unconventional group of people and a volatile time in American history.