Notice to the Person who just Knocked at the Door

We don’t want what you’re selling, or even what you’re giving away. We are more than capable of buying our own wrapping paper, popcorn tins, and candy. I do not want, nor do I need, those cookies. Not even one box. I will not ever buy food that comes from a truck, especially if it’s not refrigerated. Therefore, I am not interested in your ice cream or steak.

If there some yard work that we need to do, we will either do it ourselves or hire someone we know. Goodness knows what would be left of the plantings in the yard after letting “some dude on a tractor” loose on them. We don’t need our trees trimmed or shaken for their seeds. We like for the leaves to mulch into the soil, so we don’t want you to rake them. We can shovel our own driveway.

This applies to handiwork as well. We don’t want you up on our roof (putting holes in!), tarring or “asphalting” our driveway. We don’t want you poking at our siding or our foundation, nor digging any holes.

Our souls are not your concern. They are well-taken care of, thanks. If we were interested in your church or your denomination, I assure you, we would be able to find it, since places of worship are well-marked. The fact that no one answers the door when you come around, anywhere on this street, might give you a hint that we’re ALL good.

“No” is a complete answer. It doesn’t require negotiation, nor will that help you. We’re not changing our minds, especially if you say “but we can do it right now.” We like to research and think about things. Not accepting no as an answer means that you are being rude, and I guarantee that I will be ruder.

So please, please, go away. Stop bothering us. We just want a quiet day. We promise that we’ll give you one.

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