Things my Mother Yells at

Bagels

The toaster

Commercials

Newscasters (especially ones on in the morning)

Weather forecasters

Frozen dinners that are hard to open

The cats

Politicians (often)

Especially that one politician. You know the one.

People in mysteries she doesn’t trust

Especially if she doesn’t remember watching the mystery before

Flatware

The newspaper

The ads in the newspapers

Especially full-page car ads

Jars

People on tv who are being interviewed and say “you know”

Or “like”

Anyone who makes a grammatical error on tv

Especially newscasters

Me, when I say grammatical error instead of usage error

Newscasters who don’t understand how science/studies work

The news when they repeat stories

Or teasers

Or do sports within the first five minutes

Or more than the last ten

People who speed down the road

Especially when they’re on ATVs or noisy motorcycles

Especially when she’s watching Murder, She Wrote or Midsommer Mysteries

 

When my mother doesn’t yell:

Around any one else, out of the home, ever. Sigh.

 

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2 thoughts on “Things my Mother Yells at

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