Fiction Friday–Roll Call

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Sociology 105. As soon as I’ve gone through the roster, we’ll begin.Si-o-bi-han Branch?”

“It’s Shivon.”

“Really? Why is there a ‘b’ in it? How do you get a ‘sh’ from ‘si’?

“I dunno. It’s Irish.”

“So the Irish don’t believe in phonetics? Okay, good to know. Moving on… Oh dear lord,  Richard Iago-Macbeth?”


“Do you ever find people distrust you for no reason?”

“No, why?”

“No reason. I assume that you will blithely name your kid Adolph… Hmm. Frederick Murillo?”

“Yo. But I prefer to be called Bob.”

“Is your middle name Robert?”


“Sure. Bob, short for Frederick, as one would expect… John Smith?”

“That’s John Smith the Fifteenth.”

“There are fifteen of you?”


“They found John Smith so evocative that they went with it fifteen times in a row?”

“Yep. And I prefer to be called John Smith the Fifteenth.”

“That whole thing, every time? Sure. We don’t have anything else to get to. Let’s see, Elizabeth Travis?”

“I like to be called e.”

“E? Just the letter? Not Eliza or Liz, or Beth, but E?”

“Yes, but it’s not capitalized.”

“You can hear the capital? Okey doke. I’ll do my best. Next is.. ah… RemingtonMaximillianFinnegan Werner-Rodriguez?”


“Were you a difficult birth?”

“Why do you ask?”

“No reason. You must have a blast filling out forms…. LaShonDra Williams?”


“And what do you want to be called?”


“Thank God for that. I thought I’d never get an easy, normal name in this class. My name is Dr. Willow Tree. Please turn to page ten of your book…”

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